SOLO PARENTING: Pros & Cons

“I am prouder of my years as a single mother than of any other part of my life” - JK Rowling.

I am approaching the three year mark of being a solo parent and thought I would share some of my experiences and (more recent) reflections. It wasn’t until my youngest started prep a few weeks ago, that I really sat down (for the first time) and reflected on the many things I have achieved in the last few years. Navigating parenthood is complex at the best of times, but doing it alone (in every sense of the word) is something else - even if this is by choice. While I will do my best to share as much context as I can about my situation, there will be some missing pieces. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the legal process that can follow a separation, it’s important you understand that certain details/events cannot be openly shared - while there is ongoing litigation. For this reason, I will be as transparent as I can be - whilst honouring my legal and moral obligations at this time.

While I did title this piece as ‘pros & cons’, it’s just not that simple - ughh. There is often both positives and negatives attached to specific responsibilities and probably why it’s such a confusing and exhausting experience at times. There are so many moving pieces in a separation and when there are children involved, you’re locked in - whether you like it or not. For many couples, the division of assets/financial settlement and parenting responsibilities of the respective parents, can be amicable. However, this isn’t always the case. The fatigue and burnout of this process can drastically cloud our perspective and self-gratitude, it certainly has in my experience. As uncomfortable as it makes me, I wanted to share some of my personal challenges, but more importantly… some of my achievements (this is the part that makes uncomfortable).