AGLY Ep Two - The Debrief
“When a flower doesn’t bloom you fix the environment in which it grows, not the flower” - Alexander Den Heijer
Where do I even begin… This episode was such a special experience for me and I can feel myself getting choked up as I reflect on it. Ughh. As the world begins to shift into a more inclusive and supportive place (slowly), I feel it is our duty to educate ourselves and understand the stories of others. This will only encourage growth, diversity, acceptance and the desire to evolve as compassionate human beings. From the moment I decided to pursue this podcast, I knew I wanted Tash (pronounced Tarrrrr-shh, lol) as my first guest. Not only have I admired the way in which she so openly shares in her struggles and her story, but also how she carries herself through life - with laughter, love and compassion. She has a fierce determination and resilience like no other. While as a family they have shared in many trials and tribulations and will continue to as they navigate this path, the boy’s achievements and happiness are a testament to her strength and tenacity. Thank you, Tash. Thank you for single-handedly opening my mind and my heart to better understanding Autism.
As I launch into my debrief, I will openly admit that I’ve listened back to this episode with a critical ear. Did I do this topic and my beautiful friend justice? Did I ask the right questions? Was I insensitive or ignorant at times? I feel knowing what I know now, I would have asked and said many different things. But in saying that, it all came from a genuine and loving place. The desire to learn and gain and better understanding of life with Autism. If we don’t ask, we don’t learn!
So, what I have learnt? Tash has taught me how Autism can affect communication, social interactions, how it affects thinking (a neurotypical brain Vs a neurodivergent brain), strengths/weaknesses and the processing of emotions. We discussed potential triggers (particularly sensory), how structure in Oscar and Leo’s day is necessary - but also then, what happens when things don’t go as planned. How Autism varies so greatly between each person; specifically where empathy is required, interpreting facial expressions/emotion and context. The standout takeaway from me though, was definitely our formal diagnosis discussion. While I assumed it would “change everything”, it really didn’t. As Tash said, a great way of thinking about it was that they actually went home to the same child and that they were the same parents. Nothing changed other than being able to label these differences they had been experiencing. What was great about a formal diagnosis and that whole process, was that they could then access NDIS funding and many other wonderful resources. And it makes complete sense!
This one if for you, Oscar and Leo! You are so, so loved. And P.s you have the most incredible parents, ever
Before I handover to Tash for her parting message, I just wanted to share a little bit about our phone call the day after this podcast dropped. I was sitting in the car with Max dropping off my little fur baby, Louie, for a groom. I was congratulating Tash on how courageous she had been and thanked her for helping me gain a little more insight into her life and of course, Autism. We were sharing in our respective feedback and how shocked she had been at the overall response. So much so, she begun crying… happy tears, grateful tears, overwhelmed tears. Ughhh, it was such an incredible moment and the most amazing mix of emotions - on both ends. One particular comment Tash made was that certain people had reached out to apologise for their absence, and apparent lack of acknowledgment of the boy’s Autism. I just, wow. I could hear her pain, but I could also hear her relief and happiness that her message had landed. Is there any greater feeling?! I know that feeling and it’s exactly why I started this podcast. To raise some uncomfortable truths, topics and discussions that aren’t always easy to have/reveal, but that by sharing in our stories it will help so many others. You absolutely smashed it out the park, GF. And you are the definition of a QUEEN.
Yep, I’m still here! LOL. Almost finished. I am very excited to share with you that we will be doing a part two to this episode. This will include a Q&A, as well as another very special guest - Alex Fulton. Alex and I went to high school together and she reached out to me after we released this episode. Alex went on to complete her PhD in Autism research (clever little cookie!), and will be joining us to share her own story and discuss topics like why Autism is harder to diagnose in girls/women. Stay tuned, more info coming soon.
A MESSAGE FROM TASH:
When I was invited on A Girl Like You, I honestly didn’t think I’d attract that many listeners. It’s a big commitment taking the time out of your day to listen to someone’s story. I appreciate everyone that has, and to those that have shared it and then reached out with positive feedback, I can’t thank you enough. I’m overwhelmed with a flurry of heartfelt emotions. What this does is remind me that society want to learn, they want to do better. Maybe they just needed a safe person to ask? I’m happy to be that person, because asking comes from a place of love and I’ll always embrace that. When I listened back, I was happy because I think that we delivered that message well. If people feel comfortable enough to ask a question, how good is that?! This is where I think we fall down. People wonder if they’ll ask the right questions and so they don’t ask anything at all… which is far worse. This is an invitation to anyone who has a question to ask. If I don’t get back to you I’m prob dealing with a child who threw his food school dinner at my head after telling me it was gross, but I will endeavour to get back to you! The main message is that we need to talk, ask and share this podcast. Because knowledge is power and lastly be kind! You have no idea what’s happening. Don’t judge, and ask the kid who never gets invited to the party or the park. Teach your children that it’s ok to be different, that we all deserve to be included and accepted. Y
Since this episode I have created a new Instagram account @autismwithtash_ and I’ll drop by to see SJ again soon and maybe fill your ears with more helpful info! Tash x
Please give Tash a follow @autismwithtash_
RESOURCES:
What Ability: What Ability is a NDIS registered disability support service utilising professional and semi professional athletes as support workers. Founder and CEO Steve Dresler saw the benefits first-hand of athletes as support workers. Having faced early retirement through injury, What Ability is the evolution of Steve’s innate desire to create a positive impact amongst his peers. He has built a community connecting with children and adults with disabilities. What Ability is on a mission to make happiness come first; to enhance the clients’ perception of what is possible and take them out into the community to have fun. What Ability is working towards the recruitment of as many professional and semi professional athletes as possible. Steve hopes to dissolve the stigma around how they are perceived when spending their time away from their sport.
NDIS: The NDIS provides funding to eligible people with disability to gain more time with family and friends, greater independence, access to new skills, jobs, or volunteering in their community, and an improved quality of life. The NDIS also connects anyone with disability to services in their community. This includes connections to doctors, community groups, sporting clubs, support groups, libraries and schools, as well as providing information about what support is provided by each state and territory government. The NDIS now supports over 500,000 Australians with disability to access the services and supports they need. This includes supporting approximately 80,000 children with developmental delay, ensuring they receive supports early so that they achieve the best outcomes throughout their lives.
Autism Spectrum Australia (Aspect): Autism Spectrum Australia (Aspect) is Australia’s largest autism-specific service provider, with one of the biggest autism-specific school programs in the world. A not-for-profit organisation, we work in partnership with people of all ages on the autism spectrum, and their families to deliver evidence-informed solutions that are person-centred, family-focused and customer driven. Aspect are all about understanding, engaging and celebrating the strengths, interests and aspirations of people on the autism spectrum.
Oscar’s YouTube: CLICK HERE
Up in the Air They Fly (book): A wonderful resource written by Irene Arvanitis (who we realised was a mutual connection, I know Irene through one of my bridesmaids! Melbourne is a small place, lol). From Irene: As a teacher, the story ‘Up in the Air They Fly’, is written based on my professional observations. After having taught senior primary students for the majority of my teaching career, I found it a challenge to find age appropriate picture story books, with a focus on celebrating differences. Therefore, I decided to write my own book, in order to help educate my students on a topic I feel very passionately about. 10% of the sale price of every ‘Up in The Air They Fly’ book will go to Autism Spectrum Australia (Aspect) to support their great work
Leo (10) & Oscar (12)
A big thank you to everyone who downloaded this episode and got in touch - you are now part of this chain.
This episode is available on Apple Podcasts & Spotify.
SJ x